Oh, the sheer audacity! Equating bestsellers with weight loss? Bear with me, dear reader. Because by the end of this tête-à-tête, you’ll either be ready to toss your doughnut out the window or pen the next “Eat, Pray, Write” sensation.
Why Best Sellers and Weight Loss?
Here’s a poser for you: what do weight loss and bestsellers have in common? Commitment, strategy, pain, and an inordinate amount of tears shed in front of a computer or a mirror. And, weirdly enough, both often start with a doughnut… or the lack thereof.
1. Temptation Everywhere
Just as the wafting aroma of freshly baked cookies might lead you astray from your keto diet, the allure of writing ‘what sells’ can tempt you away from your true voice. “But zombies are so in right now!” you exclaim. Yes, but so were bell-bottom jeans, and look how that turned out. (If you’re still wearing them, you’re either too cool for this post or in dire need of it.)
2. The Unforgiving Scales of Amazon
Every writer’s nightmare: the Amazon rankings. Just as those cruel scales can shatter your weight-loss dreams, that Amazon rank can be a heartless reminder of your place in the literary food chain. And much like our rebellious scales, it doesn’t care about the blood, sweat, and tears (or the sacrificed doughnuts) that went into that manuscript.
3. The Magic Pill
For weight loss? It doesn’t exist. For writing? Nope, not there either. Every infomercial promising abs in seven minutes is the equivalent of those “Write a Bestseller in a Weekend!” workshops. Spoiler alert: Neither works. Instead, patience, persistence, and a touch of madness are required.
4. Shedding the Excess
Editing is to writing what dieting is to, well, eating. It’s about shedding the fluff, honing the core, and sometimes saying goodbye to that darling scene just because it’s adding unneeded “calories” to your narrative.
5. Celebrating the Small Wins
Every pound shed, every good review – they matter. Don’t wait until you’ve hit the New York Times Best Seller list or shed those 20 pounds. Celebrate every five-star review. Every time you opt for a salad over fries (or, let’s be real, in addition to fries).
6. The Ultimate Secret
Ready for it? Whether shedding words or pounds, it’s about balance. Write with passion, but edit with ruthlessness. Eat the chocolate, but maybe skip the third slice of pizza.
So there you have it. A writer’s journey, much like weight loss, is riddled with temptations, setbacks, small triumphs, and the eternal quest for balance. Will your next book be the literary equivalent of a kale smoothie or a triple-chocolate mousse? Only time will tell. In the meantime, pass the doughnuts.